Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
