I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
