we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
