what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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