I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
