So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
