was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
