just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
