8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
