and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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