What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
