your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
