I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
