please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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