When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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