you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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