I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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