Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
