I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
