The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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