Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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