Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
