Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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