guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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