i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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