I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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