So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
