I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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