just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
