he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We have started to decorate penises.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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