I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
