How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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