Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
