u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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