youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
