I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
