The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
