Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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