My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
