Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
