All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
