More tranny stories later!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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