we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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