tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
