we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
