Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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