Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
