Screwed.edu
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
