I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
