You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
