You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i drank out of a bidet.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
