Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
