im having a threesome with these popsicles
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
