I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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