You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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